


The visit

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Series: Family [4]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014), What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24942376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: The roommates are getting visitors from New Zealand.
Relationships: Deacon/Stu (What We Do in the Shadows), Jackie/Nadja, Katherine/Viago (What We Do in the Shadows), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja, Laszlo/Vladislav
Series: Family [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708681
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	The visit

**Author's Note:**

> Little crossover between the movie and the TV show. I think at this point it doesn't work with the canon anymore but a good friend advised me to publish it anyway. I hope you like it.

A week ago

-Laszlo, it's for you! Nandor shouted.

Laszlo took the phone from Nandor's hands and answered:

-Good evening?  
-Hello Llewellyn! It's me, Viago Dorna Schmarten Scheden Heimburg! How are you doing?  
-Viago? Good, but I prefer to go by my initials if you don’t mine.  
-Lazslo?  
-No, Laszlo.  
-Oh, I'm sorry…  
-It's nothing! What have you been up to? I think the last time we spoke was before I left for America. Actually, how did you find my number?  
-Too long to my taste. Nick, our new little vampire has started hanging out with witches and one of them may have found your number through divination or sacrifice, I'm not sure. But I do have some great news:I'm married!  
-Congratulations, old chap! If I'd known, I would have sent you a little something.  
-It's nothing, we wanted to do it as soon as possible. She and I were separated for so long before we found each other again. And I wanted to shut up the bad blood. I'm three times her age so I look like an old satyr.  
-Let them talk. If you knew all the look at Nadja and I gets at the beginning. People can forgive a silver fox with a young girl but a woman with experience with an adonis always draws fire.  
\- Thank you. But if you'd like to offer us a little something, I'd like to ask you a favor.  
-And what is it?  
-I have a friend who has to go to in America for work. Between the last events: my wedding, Vladislav and the Beast that have separated AGAIN and Petyr's death, I think it would be good for all of us to take our minds off and take a vacation. Besides, we've been given a nice sum of money.  
-Oh, I'm so sorry. Did you get revenge? And what phase of the break-up is Vladislav in?  
-Yes, even that doesn't make all the pain go away. And I'd say... he've been torturing people for three weeks now, so he should soon be in the phase where he' s not picky about the company as long as they' re fit and shameless. Why?  
-Just curious.  
-Alright. So I said maybe we could visit you, the lovely wife of you’re and your roommates.  
-I hesitate Viago, Laszlo says uncomfortable.  
-We'll find a place to sleep if you're short on space…  
-It's not that. You know Nadja's still mad at Deacon for his poor life choices.  
-...He will apologize and I will personally see to it that his behavior is exemplary. You have my word.  
-And there's another problem. My dear wife and I have reached another stage in our relationship. We have... a child.  
-You turned a child into a vampire? Viago said horrified.  
-NO, I WOULDN'T DARE! WHO KIND VAMPIRE YOU THINK I AM? She's a little mortal girl. We adopted. She's three years old now.  
-Three years old? So she's here to stay? Oh, Laszlo, that's wonderful! Congratulations, I never would have believed it of you. Well, that you create them, yes, but you raise them? I'm so happy for you and your dear wife.  
-Thank you, but it's still fragile at that age…  
-Don't worry, I'll ask Vladislav to show me a couple of tricks in case anyone even thinks they might hurt your little Saugling! I'll see you next week, byebye!

Laszlo looks at the phone a bit confused before Nandor asks:  
-What did he want?  
-It seems my third cousin is coming to visit.

*******

The door rang and Guillermo went to open it.

-Don't bother, Gizmo. It's for us, Nadja said as Laszlo pushed him down, to open the door. -Why don't you go notify Nandor?  
-Alright.

The door opened to reveals a group of vampires consisting of 6 individuals, 4 men and 2 women.

-Viago! It's good to see you, cousin!  
-Oh, Laszlo! The pleasure is mine, thank you again for having us!  
-Welcome to all," Laszlo said, pushing for let them all in. -You remember my wife, Nadja.  
-Yes, I do. How could I forget? Viago said, kissing Nadja's hand.  
-Good evening Viago, I heard the good news about your newfound love, says Nadja.  
-Yes, my dear Katherine, said Viago introducing an old woman.  
-It's nice to meet you, Katherine said softly.  
-Oh, he got to you just in time, said Nadja.  
-Like yours husband, I'm told, Katherine smiles.  
-Still sharp! I think we're going to have some fun together.  
-Do you remember my companions? Ask Viago.  
-How could I forget Vladislav the Poker? Said Laszlo with a smile.

Nadja almost laughed when she saw her husband. All the subtlety of a 14-year-old girl for a high school crush. 

-And Dea…  
-The nazi scum is here too? Ask angry Nadja.  
-Lady, it's been over 80 years, change your tune! said angry Deacon.  
-Deacon...Vladislav began with a soft but threatening tone while the youngest woman face palms.  
-No, but it was just a mistake and why does it bother her so much, she's not Jewish!  
-I have gypsy blood, bloody moron! You know what, get out of my house, you Nazi asshole, I don't want to see you!

Immediately, Deacon found himself stuck on the outside.

-Hey, that's not fair! Let me in! Deacon screamed.  
-So who are your other two companions? Nadja asked Viago, royally ignorant Deacon.  
-This is Nick, said Viago  
-Hi!  
-He was turned by Petyr last year. And he turned Jackie here himself after.  
-Good evening, I'm so happy to meet you, said Jackie excitedly.  
-Me too. Everyone is welcome except Deacon Brucke," said Nadja as she saw him try to approach the door.

Deacon watched helplessly as the others entered the house with Nick's Sorry bro as his only comfort.

*********

-Nandor! Our guests have arrived! Laszlo announced.  
-Good evening everyone, we have refreshments in the basement and I sent my familiar to find some more, said Nandor.  
-Well, I'm going to go bleed something. Anyone else want some? Vladislav asked.  
-I can do it, Nandor says.  
-Nah, I'll be fine. I'm good at drawing blood without killing.  
-I insist, says Nandor.  
-Nandor, he's our guest, let him do it, Laslzo says.  
-Speaking of which, can I seeing your little Schnucki? Ask Viago excited.  
-Of course, I will woke her up. Just let me prep her, said Nadja.  
-You don't have the doll her up, she can stay in her homes clothes, I don’t mind! In addition, I want her to be comfortable playing with the gifts I buy her. Katherine helped me pick out everything that's good for the kids this days!  
-Viago would have bought half the store if I had let him, smiles his girlfriend.

Nick approached Laszlo to ask him a question.

-What are we gonna do about Deacon, you can’t just leave him outside?  
-Look, just go to the basement. Try to find Colin Robinson, our roommate. He's the one with his name on the house lease. If he invites him in, everything should be fine, Laszlo said.

Sounds like a good compromise: Deacon goes to their home but suffers, so Nadja should be satisfied?

******

-You don't understand, it's so unfair! Is complaining on the phone, Deacon. -Sure, I see your point. Being part of a secret army of Nazi vampires, not my best idea. But Vladislav did worse and they let him in. And... I know it was dumb. I didn't think they'd apply their standards to us. I was tired of having to hide. Petyr scolded me after all that. It may not have been a war crimes court, but he wasn't kidding about discipline….Yes, I miss him. No, I’m fine! Stay where you are. This is a great opportunity for you. I can't wait to see the movie. I'm sure it'll be almost as cool as our documentary. What? You asked for a big wardrobe in the hotel? Of course I want to sleep there... or anything else.

At that moment, the door opens revealing a bald man with glasses and behind him, Nick seems about to fall asleep standing up.

-I'll call you back, Stu. Hey, who are you?  
-I'm Colin Robinson, I heard Nadja banned you from coming in. I'm here to invite you in.  
-Great," said Deacon, rising from the lawn to rush to the door.

At that moment, Deacon realized Colin's supernaturally blue eyes. And the sentence that came out of his movement only confirmed his fears.

-But first I would like us to talk about the moral, economic and political implications that have caused this tension between you and Nadja.  
-Nick, you idiot! Why did you go after the psychic vampire?  
-A...what? Nick asked after he almost fell asleep.  
-Fuck!!!!

********

-And here's the main attraction," Nadja mocked gently, putting Juliet on the carpet. -Say good evening to our guests, my darling: Vladislav, Viago, Nick, Katherine and Jackie.  
-Good eving, gentle men and ladies, said Juliet.  
-Aww, aren't you a munchkin! I could eat you whole! Viago said.

Rather than being terrified, the toddler started laughing, which melted the vampire's heart.

-May I take you, please?  
-Yes, said Juliet, raising her arms.

Viago did so, a big smile on his face. 

-Let me show you the gifs I got for you.  
-Yeah!!!!  
-...And we have officially lost Viago, said Vladislav. -I can drink in front of her or…  
-No problem, she doesn't mind, Laszlo assured.  
-Really? Ask Jackie.  
-Yes. In fact, when we first got her, she would utter exclamations of joy every time we ate. I know it's silly, but I miss it a bit," says Nadja.  
-Ah that...cute, said Jackie not sure what to answers.  
-Hey, is that Stephan III's axe? Vladislav asked.  
-Yes, I took it from his corpse myself, Nandor said proudly.  
-Really?  
-Yes, why?  
-For nothing. I was told syphilis killed him, but if you have his ax, I'm gonna believe you.  
-I killed him with my own hands.  
-I said, I believe you. And it still counts even if the disease had started the work for you.  
-I…  
-Nandor, he said it was still a victory, let it go! Said Laszlo. -But for example, I've always wanted to know if it was true that you made Frederique the Barbarian cry when you served him his sons cooked?  
-But certainly, I remember it like it was yesterday...

Guillermo then arrived in the room:

-Master, I'm sorry to bother you, but…  
-But what Guillermo? Nandor asked frustrated. -I'm busy!  
-I just wanted to know if anyone needed anything... Says Guillermo embarrassed.  
-Hey, I'm gonna take everybody's orders and bring them to you, okay? Says Jackie.  
-You're our guest, you didn't... Started Nadja.  
-Oh, that's okay. It's my pleasure, Jackie assured. 

********

-Everyone wants virgin blood. Shocking, I know. Vladislav and I want O negative and Nandor want O positive, Viago and Nadja ask for A positive, Nick and Katherine ask for B negative, Laszlo want AB positive and maybe save some AB negative for Deacon if he is allowed in, Jackie listed. 

-All right, I'll prepare this," said Guillermo as he took out the glasses.  
-If there's something missing from the fridge, I'll bleed someone in the basement for you.  
-Thank you, it's really nice of you, says Guillermo confused but appreciating the kindness of the vampire.  
-It makes me happy, I know being a familiar can suck, I've been one for five years.  
-You were? Guillermo said. -And you were changed after only 5 years? You must have been really good.  
-I guess you could say that. It hasn't been easy every day, but I'm glad my efforts are paying off.  
-It's been over 6 years since I've been a familiar, I think I still have a long way to go.  
-You look talented, I'm sure you'll end up being a vampire somehow, says Jackie.

********

-I have a scarf for you, too. I know clothes aren't the most exciting gift, but look, Deacon knitted it to look like a little fox, explain.  
-Whoah! Thank you!  
-And now the highlight of the show :a kiwi, explain Viago by showing a plush toy of the animal.  
-Like the fruit? Ask Juliet.  
-No, they have the same name because the bird looks like the fruit and they are both delicious...I think, I haven't eaten fruit for a long time, says Viago thinking.  
-Maybe Batzo will eat him, Juliet says.  
-Who's Batzo? 

Juliet pulling out her bat toy.

-He sayz hello, nice to mee you.  
-But the honor is mine, Batzo, Viago said greeting the toy. -Are you serious about eating the kiwi?  
-Yes, said Juliet.  
-That's bad news, because I might have to eat Juliet to avenge him then, says Viago.  
-No, you' re not, says Juliet.  
-Oh, you think so? Katherine can you confirm to her that I'm very serious? asks Viago to his wife.  
-He is. Beware, said Katherine, holding back from laughing.

Juliet looked up and down at Viago before throwing her plush toy on top of the Kiwi one.

-Nadja, Laszlo, I regret to announce that I will eat your child, declared falsely sad Viago.  
-You'll have to catch her first, says Nadja before turning to her daughter. -Run!

The child runs away screaming but with pleasure as Viago walks after her. 

-Someone will fall asleep like a log this morning, says Nadja. -Thank you.  
-It makes him happy, smile Katherine. -He really likes kids.  
-Be careful, he's gonna ask you for one on the way home.  
-We have Deacon and Nick and even Jackie's kids at the house every other weekend. I think we all have what we need. In addition, he told me that if something should happen to my grandchildren, great-grandchildren or several generations later, he was ready to take care of them. He's such a wonderful man. I'm so lucky to have my true love back after so long.  
-Yeah, you are, said Nadja, suddenly feeling melancholic.

Further on, Nandor and Vladislav continue their contest of who has the biggest with Laszlo as cheerleader.

-I forced Mark VII to have a picnic among his impaled family, said Vladislav coldly.  
-I made Mino the Good to kick all the puppies in his kingdom," Nandor replied.  
-Oh, I admit it's a good one, say Laszlo. -But you must have something better, Vladislav.

Closer to the Romanian, he'd be sitting on his knees.

-Well, I gave the orders to Guillermo, says Jackie who have return in the fancy room.  
-So we made it in time, said a voice that sent a shiver down the spine of Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo.  
-Colin Robinson? What can we do for you? Nadja asked.  
-I brought your guests back who was lost and thought I'd introduce myself to the others," smiles the psychic vampire.

Nick almost slept standing up while Deacon sat on the floor exhausted.

-Jackie's picking me up and just take me to the nearest chair, Deacon whines.

Jackie got up but passed Deacon without a glance to gently get Nick to sit with her.

-Jackie! Deacon shouted angrily.  
-I'm not you familiar anymore. I don't have to obey you. 

Several vampires wince at Jackie's remark.

-Deacon, why don't you try sitting next to…try Katherine.  
-He can have my place, I'll go and see what Viago and Juliet are doing, Nadja says coldly as she gets up.  
-Nadja, my love come on, Laszlo pleaded.  
-If you want him here, fine, but I'm not staying in the same room with him, said Nadja, putting her money where her mouth is.

When she was out, Nandor tried takes the edge off:

-She probably just didn't want to be in the same room that Colin Robinson.  
-Dude, just apologize. It doesn't even have to be sincere, just believable, Nick says half asleep.

*********

Guillermo carried the tray covered with glasses filled with blood carefully when he heard the screams:

-AAAHHHHH!!!  
-IF I CATCH YOU, I'LL DEVOUR YOU!!!!!!  
-HELP ME!!!!  
-TOO LATE, YOU'RE MINE NOW!!!!!  
-AHAAHAHA!!!!

Guillermo felt his blood freeze over and abandoned his tray to walk in the direction of Juliet's screams.

-Stop! What are you…

He then saw Juliet on the floor laughing her throat out while Viago tickled her.

-Yes? said the vampire as he turned his attention to Guillermo.  
-I... I thought... I assumed...  
-What?  
-You want to play Guimo? Ask Juliet.  
-I don't think he can play with us, look at the big mess he's made," Viago says, pointing to the blood pool and the broken glass.  
-Nandor will be mad, Juliet says.  
-Probably. But the most important thing is that I get you out of here, we don't want you to spill your precious blood on pieces of glass," Viago said as he picked up Juliet and walked away without a glance at the familiar.

Guillermo sighed and went in search of a broom.

******

-Hey, are you okay? asked Jackie who followed Nadja.  
-It's fine, says Nadja clearly lying. -I'm not even that angry about the fact that he was a Nazi. He could have been before he knew what Hitler had in mind. It's the absence of remorse.  
-Deacon can be a dick. I know. I served him for five years.  
-But it was Nick who turned you?  
-Yeah, I got fed up and went to see Nick. I told him that if I hadn't taken him to the boys, he'd still be human. So he owed me.  
-That's fair. I understand why you're the only familiar person I've ever met who managed to become a vampire.  
-Thank, I also believe I've earned my place.  
-No buyer's remorse?  
-No, not a single one. I'm where I've always wanted to be: I'm immortal and I'll never be afraid to walk alone late at night again.  
-I can understand that. Katherine says you have kids…  
-Three: Natasha, Cedrik and Aidan. Natasha knows about me and she reacted pretty well. I'm waiting for the other two to be older. I'm also married.  
-Is he...?  
-He's human. But I plan to turn him after the majority of our youngest. In the meantime, our relationship is a little... master-familiar.  
-It's modern, smiles Nadja. -Noticed many men are more comfortable with the idea of a woman in control than they want to admit.  
-If I'm being honest, I especially like that now he realized how much I was doing for him.  
-That a good husband!  
-Yeah, he's not bad. But... Sighs  
-But?  
-I love him and he accepts my new lifestyle but...I don't dare to explore some aspects because of him. I don't want to hurt him but…  
-Why don't you just tell him," said Nadja as she replaced a lock of Jackie's hair. -Maybe he'd rather know than find out for himself. If he can handle the fact that you kill people to survive, why can't he handle everything else?  
-That's a good point, recognized Jackie smelling giddy.  
-What would you like to explore that you don't dare? Nadja asked as she moved her mouth closer to Jackie's mouth.

*******

-Laszlo, Laszlo!!! Viago shouted as he entered the room with Juliet in his arms.  
-Yes, Viago?" Laszlo asked, trying to hide his frustration at being forced out of Vladislav and Nandor's pride match.  
-Can I take your little one outside? The familiar dropped some glass in the hallway and I don't want her to get hurt. We'll just go to the yard.  
-What? Nandor, go take care of this! Scream Laszlo.  
-And why would I do that?  
-Your monkey, your circus!

Nandor growled in his beard but walked into the corridor.

-Of course, Viago. You can even take her to the park around the corner if you want.  
-What a wonderful idea! Katherine, would you like to come with us, my love?  
-With pleasure, darling. Does she need a stroller?  
-No, she can walk it. The worst that can happen is if she run out of energy, you have to carry her in your arms on the way back.  
-It's no longer a problem for me, Katherine says enthusiastically. -Let's go!

The couple left the room leaving with the little girl.

-I'm going to go get a drink in the cellar, says Vladislav.  
-Let me show you, Laszlo said hastily.  
-Sure, why not?

Both leaving, leaving only Nick, Deacon and Colin.

-So what do you think of the new tax from... started Colin.  
-Said Deacon, this conservation is better than apologizing to Nadja? asked Nick.  
-I need my boyfriend, Deacon whimpers.

******

-What did I do? sighs Jackie.  
-For a first time, I thought it was very good," says Nadja next to her.  
-But I'm married!  
-So am I.  
-And he'd be okay with what just happened? Jackie asked sarcastically.  
-Probably disappointed. He likes girl on girl and MILF. But hey, he's been wanting to be fuck his brains out by Vladislav the Poker since he was 15. So he's not too much to pity.  
-Vladislav, really?  
-He was the darling of vampire society for a long time.  
-Well, watching him go online shopping and fail his metamorphosis is a love killer for me. But if that his thing of you’re husband, good luck to him.  
-What happened here never left this room. But maybe talking to your husband would be good. You need to be a little wild at first and if you allow yourself pleasure, share it with your husband or see if he has any, it will help, believe me.  
-Maybe. I really intend to make him a vampire, you know. Worst case scenario, he'll give it back to me in 18 years.

*******

Half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Guillermo opened it to find Viago covered in blood and alone.

-Hi, uh... we had a little accident in the park.  
-MASTER, NADJA, LASZLO, COLIN ROBINSON COME QUICKLY!!!!!

Everyone arrived hearing the scream of panic from the familiar: Nandor, Colin, Deacon, Nick, Nadja, Jackie, Vladislav and Laszlo. 

-Vladislav? Where's your coat? Nick asked.  
-I think it' s on Laszlo, Colin says.  
-I accidentally tore his shirt, vest and maybe part of his pants so I decided to leave him my coat," Vladislav explained.  
-It's nothing. I find the exchange equivalent," Laszlo assured with a big smile.  
-Sure, said Deacon clearly doubt the story.  
-Why did you bother us, Guillermo? Nandor asked frustratedly.  
-It's on me. We had an accident in the park, Viago started again.  
-What kind of accident? said Nadja suddenly worried as she approached Viago.  
-I swear, Nadja, if I'd known I'd never be left her alone, I was sure it would be okay…  
-Dude, spit it out, damn it!" Jackie got angry and joined Najda in support.  
-I…  
-That's us! said Katherine arriving with Juliet covered in a bloody stain and unconscious in her arms.  
-¡Santa Madre de Dios! shouted Guillermo who wanted to take the child but Nadja was faster.

Several vampires hissed when they heard his phrase.

-The sugarush just abandoned her, Katherine laughed as she handed Juliet over to her mother.  
-What? Ask Guillermo.  
-Guillermo, let's explain them, damn it! Nandor got angry.  
-Thank you, says Viago. -I ran into a virgin in the park and I took the opportunity with Katherine. He had a bag full of popsicles. I told your daughter she could have one while we ate. I think she got about ten.  
-Sweetheart, she's three years old, she wasn't going to stop by herself.  
-Your wife is right, you might as well ask a drunk to stop after a one drink," laughs Laszlo.  
-Gizmo, run her a bath, I'm going to clean her and put her to bed, says Nadja.  
-But…  
-Nandor, tell him to do it!  
-I'll take care of it, Jackie says. -We can talk at the same time instead of leaving you alone.  
-Good idea, smiles Nadja.

The two women leave together with the little girl.

-I hope she behaved well? Laszlo asked his cousin.  
-Aside from her gluttony gap? An angel! You're lucky, I'd trade you her for Deacon.  
-Not sure that's fair, laughs Laszlo.  
-You're right...What if I add Nick? Viago asked.  
-...No. Still not fair and my wife would kill me before she'd pull out all your teeth and set you on fire.  
-It was worth a try.

*******

The rest of the night went well and Colin even decided to go to bed early to please the others. Only Deacon stayed in his corner. He wasn't going to apologize!

-What you do?

Deacon was startled to find Nadja and Laszlo's brat watching him.

-What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep!  
-You're in my room and your phone's make noise.  
-Aha. Now that you mention it, there are actually a lot of toys in this room.  
-Do you want me to show to you?  
-Nan...I text my boyfriend but he doesn't answer.

Why is he telling her that? It's none of her business! And not like she could…

-Do you have picture of him?  
-Yes, I have some. You want to see them?

Juliet nods her head.

-Okay, come here. 

Juliet obeyed and sat on his knees. Deacon grunted a little, she could have sat next to him, but screw it.

-His name is Stuart, but everyone calls him Stu. He works with computers. It's a really complicated job, you have to be very smart and talented for handling it.  
-I like his scars.  
-Yeah, these are cool. He gets them because he's a badass. He survived an attack by a pack of werewolves!  
-Whoah!!!  
-Yeah, whoah! He's a also vegetarian but it's hard now because he needs protein for its transformation...  
-He turns into what? A bat?  
-A wolf, Deacon says decided to keep it vague.  
-Nandor can become a doggy, Mama a bunch of rat friends and Papa a kitty.  
-Yeah, but he's a wolf as big as a person.  
-Whoah! Can you ride on his back?  
-Oh, I ride him for sure but not on his back, Deacon said before he remembered who he was talking to.  
-In ten years, ask your parents to explain how it works.  
-Okay. Ah, he's got a scarf like me!  
-No, you have a scarf like him! Viago made me do it! Not even the same because you have a fox and he has a wolf! Wolves are stronger than foxes!  
-Viago is that your maker?  
-Nan. My maker's name is Petyr.  
-He didn't come? Why?  
-Uh... he's dead.  
-Died how?  
-Okay, what kind of weird kid... oh, you mean dead like me or dead like the virgin in the park. He's dead for good.You know, like, I'll never see him again until I die myself.  
-Hug?  
-Eww, no! I'm a vampire, I’dont need hug! And you're gross anyway!

Juliet hiss to him.

-Because in addition to being gross, you're rude? But it's a good hiss for a human, I'll give it to you.  
-Are you done insulting my baby? asked a voice.

Deacon turned around to find Nadja installed against the door frame.

-Hey, wife of Viago's cousin.It was your kid who decided who wanted to spend time with me.  
-You're in her room.  
-It was the only place I could find to hide from the energy vampire!  
-I don't want people like you around her.  
-But…  
-I know what you're going to say: Nandor and Vladislav were human when they did what they did. You were a vampire and you have no regrets.

Deacon took a deep breath (not that he really needed it, but the psychological effect was there) before saying:

-I have some.  
-For getting bloody caught? Nadja asked coldly.  
-My boyfriend's Jewish, okay! And my maker was born in what was one day going to be Poland. Viago and Nick aren't exactly Aryan either. I realize it was stupid, I was stupid... and I'm sorry. For yours and everyone else in general.

The brat decides it's time to ignore his request and give him her fucking hug. And the only reason he doesn't push her away is because he's sure her mother will strangle him with his own intestines if he tries.

-I accept it. 

Fuck, Nick was right, it was easy! But damm it, he can always dream for Deacon to telling him.

-You should have stopped when you realized what was going on. But hey, I made my own mistakes. I write the Olympic song with my husband the year he was here.  
-Oh, yeah, I heard it. It had a good rhyme but not enough for people to get over the lyrics.  
-Not really.

Nadja then turned to her daughter:

-You don't want to sleep?

Juliet shook her head.

-Sigh...So I guess I'll take you both back with me," Nadja ceded.

********

-So, do you like killing or torturing small animals? Vladislav awkwardly attempted.  
-Nan, replied Juliet. -But I like it when Mama, Papa or Nandor catches something to eat.  
-Oh, that's good. Not enough people think like you.  
-Dude, really? Ask Nick.  
-I have over 800, I don't know what kids like these days!  
-I don't know, ask her what her favourite story is or the animals she loves," Nick replied.  
-Oh, that's a good idea. Hey Juliet, if you tell me what animal you like, I can change it to this!  
-Not just as a bat, doggy, rat or kitty? Juliet asked.  
-Much more, I can transform myself into a turtle, a monkey, a dolphin, a bear, an alpaca, a lizard, a horse, a snake, a hare, a wolf and even supernatural creatures.  
-But the face remains that of a vampire, warn Viago.  
-If you're going be a wolf, can I please ride you? Juliet asked.  
-Juliet! said Laszlo in a harsh voice.  
-I don't mind, she can get on my back...  
-Or the other way, Juliet says.  
-Other way? Vladislav asked. -Jackie, is that baby talk expression?  
-I don't think so.  
-Hey, Juliet, why don't you explain what you mean? Colin asked with a big smile.  
-Deacon says you can ride people, but not just on their backs. He explained it to me. He's do it with his boy friend.  
-What's wrong with you? Nandor got angry.  
-I told you not to say anything for 10 years! Deacon shouted.  
-Deacon, please shut up, Viago said with a forced smile.  
-Even I know it's inappropriate, says Vladislav.

Nadja turned threateningly to the young vampire.

-I can explain," Deacon said suddenly frightened.  
-Sure bloody Nazi scum.

-Do you think you can use your power on her? Viago asked Katherine.  
-I can lessen her rage enough so that she doesn't kill him, but don't expect anything better," says worried Katherine.  
-I ask for nothing more. 

-Juliet, do you want to go and play in the garden? Nandor said as he picked her up.  
-That's a good idea. I can turn into a wolf or whatever you want outside," Vladislav added.  
-I have bush sculptures if anyone is interested," Laszlo continued.  
-Yeah, let's do that, it sounds cool, said Nick.

Everyone started to leave the room.

-Guys! Don't leave me alone! Scream Deacon when Nadja had him cornered.  
-I'm staying, Jackie says.  
-But don't just stand there, then!  
-Sure, Nadja, do you want me to hold his arms?  
-Traitor! After all I've done for you!  
-Exactly.

*******

-It was not my fault, it was their snot-nosed little brat who spilled the beans! Deacon whines in Stu's arms. -And neither Viago or Vladislav defended me. And Jackie helped her! Why are they all after me?  
-It's all over now," Stu assured. -Is there anything that'll make you feel better?  
-Ride you hard enough for the others to hear us in their rooms," Deacon said after reflection.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) For those who wonder why I make Laszlo and Viago distant cousins: their respective ages ( 397 for Viago and somewhere between 340 and 470 for Laszlo), that they are noble and that the German and English royal family had a lot of marriages between them make that they could really be related.  
> 2)Vladislav has long black hair and an accent.  
> 3) I don't hate Deacon, I swear! But I think he deserves a little karma.  
> 4)My friend tries to convince me to write another story that takes place in the main universe (not the one with Juliet) where the two groups of roommates must ally post-season 2 (because Vladislav is deemed responsible for the carnage by his inaction). If only one person is interested then I would do it even if I already have too many stories.


End file.
